To tell someone in emotional pain to let go of anger, bitterness, expectations, shame, etc. can be the same as telling someone in the water with a life preserver to just let go of that device which is preventing one from drowning. Our feelings, as irrational as they may seem at times, can be a kind of life preserver as they anchor us in a familiar response to being treated unjustly, betrayed, hurt, etc. It is important to honor our feelings as they arise in us, because they are there to tell us when something is not sitting right with us. And as we tune into what our feelings are telling us about ourselves, we are ultimately brought back into more balance and more wholeness with our being. Once we have allowed our feelings to have a voice, to be heard and held, we have the potential to be transformed. We can open ourselves up to be softer and more open-hearted.
The problem comes when we get attached to the emotion and close ourselves off to hearing the deeper message it is trying to tell us. When we get attached to the emotion, we can get stuck in a loop that can harden our hearts and even make us feel righteous for feeling the way we do. To let go of the stories around these feelings that harden our hearts can open us up to a new way of living, seeing and being. By letting go of the familiar, we are opening ourselves to the possibilities of the present, and in allowing ourselves to be bathed in the unknown of the present, we open the door to the possibility of a different future. It can feel like a free-fall at first, as we relinquish the life preserver of clinging onto what is familiar, even if the stories we are telling ourselves feel right or true on some level. Thoughts and stories can anchor our realities, but the process often keeps us tethered to the past, as the stories we tell ourselves are often based on our past conditioning. However, when we free-fall into faith and let go of the familiar, anything is truly possible.
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Blessings to you,